Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
