i think my tv is drunk
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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