If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Found the puke drawer
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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