I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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