Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
