I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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