We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
