well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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