I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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