That's intense
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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