I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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