she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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