ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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