I just made out with a guy for $7.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
