I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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