So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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