Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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