Do vagina's smell?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
