Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I want her autograph on my taint
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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