i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
