Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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