He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
