Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
