I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
