I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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