she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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