White coat. Heels.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
