Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
