So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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