shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
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He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I need to align my fucking chakras
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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