Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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