My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize