I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
