my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Bring me that man meat
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
