dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
