Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
What a dumb baby whore.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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