i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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