u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
