Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
