that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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