Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
