matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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