We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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