everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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