can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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