i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
