i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
In America we eat man semen.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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