just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
