i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
