new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
