from now on my penis is your penis
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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