the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I will pee on everything he values.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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