he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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