what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
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Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
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I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize