College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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