i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she smelled like a LAN party
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
