Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
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I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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